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Monday, 10 April 2017

editing work

Attempt 1
Rainbows end is a theme park that people all over new Zealand go to it is the main theme park of new Zealand. rainbows end is a place to spend with your family. This theme park is part of Auckland it has over 25 rides. My favourite is the go karts the go carts are like a mini car but it doesn't have a

out layering on it. There are also other exciting rides some are scary and some are average the scariest ride is probably the free fall it goes up and then straight down but at first when you're up there it is not as scary but when it heads down it will

probably give you goosebumps. A theme park like this is it’s own theme park and the cool thing about it is that it is the only one in the world it sits in Oakland. The most popular thing in Oakland compared to the sky tower and the theme park rainbows, rainbows  end is just more fun      

How did they get the name rainbows end
There were absolutely no other theme parks in new Zealand about 44 years ago then. Suddenly they think of something big like a roller coaster it was perfect but is would cost so a small team worked really hard to come up with an name that they would call the theme park it was rainbows end it’s a magical name it was perfect.

If you have never been to rainbows end you are missing out on a whole lot of fun because it is one of the community services of everywhere around new Zealand it cost 50 dollars for each person so your should try it out before tickets  run out if they do your still have tomorrow it also has nighttime severe.

















Attempt 2
Rainbows end is a theme park that people all over new Zealand go to it is the only
theme park of new Zealand. rainbows end is a place to spend time with your family. This park is part of Auckland it has over 25 rides. My favourite is the go karts the go carts are like a mini car but it doesn't have a

out layering on it. There are also other exciting rides some are scary and some are average the scariest ride is probably the free fall it goes up and then straight down but at first when you're up there it is not as scary but when it heads down it will

probably give you goosebumps. A theme park like this is it’s own theme park and the cool thing about it is that it is the only one in the world and it sits in Auckland. The most popular thing in compared to the sky tower and the theme park rainbows, rainbows end is just more popular      

How did they get the name rainbows end
There were absolutely no other theme parks in new Zealand about 44 years ago then. Suddenly they think of something big like a roller coaster it was perfect but is would cost, so a small team worked really hard to come up with an name that they would call the theme park it was rainbows end it’s a magical name it was perfect.

If you have never been to rainbows end you are missing out on a whole lot of fun because it is one of the community services of everywhere around new Zealand it cost 50 dollars for each person so your should try it out before tickets  run out if they do your still have tomorrow it also has nighttime severe.


today I edaited my work to make it sound better and make sence in the start of the year we had a writing test all of us had 45 minutes to write about a specil part of our comunity atemt 1 is up the top and the secound one is on the bottom of the first text they are the same text but the bottom one is eadited alot

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